[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.22″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”3.25″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” locked=”off”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.25″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.13.1″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]<\/p>\n
It\u2019s taken me OVER A YEAR to pluck up the courage to post the video of my Burns Night speech!<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s because I don\u2019t usually make fun of people or say rude words – but I do in this speech.<\/span><\/p>\n Making fun of men and using colorful language is fully expected in the traditional \u201cReply To The Toast To The Lassies.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n If you\u2019re not familiar with Burns Night, it\u2019s a grand Scottish supper to celebrate the life and works of the poet Robert Burns, held around January 25 (which was his birthday).<\/span><\/p>\n I attended my first Burns Night in Yokohama in 2023. Even though I was a first timer, I was invited to speak on behalf of the ladies in the room in response to a speech earlier in the evening from one of the gentlemen.<\/span><\/p>\n I hope you enjoy the video, the culture, and the humor. You\u2019ll find the full script below too, if you\u2019re interested.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_video src=”https:\/\/sasugacommunications.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/291ac466-e5d9-45e7-9b63-28f012a3325e.mp4″ module_id=”7-tips-speech-video” _builder_version=”4.6.3″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_video][et_pb_accordion db_closeable=”on” _builder_version=”4.6.3″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ db_initial_state=”all_closed” sticky_enabled=”0″][et_pb_accordion_item title=”Script of Helen Iwata\u2019s Burns Night Reply To The Toast To The Lassies 2023″ open=”on” open_toggle_text_color=”#5a296b” _builder_version=”4.6.3″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ open_use_icon_font_size=”off” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n Ladies and gentlemen,<\/p>\n It is my unique honor and pleasure to deliver the Reply to the Toast to the Lassies.<\/p>\n Coincidentally, last week, some friends of mine were organizing a combined event – a Chinese New Year celebration and a Burns Supper. They called it Chinese Burns Night. They kept trying to twist my arm, but I didn\u2019t go.<\/p>\n So this is actually my first-ever Burns Night.<\/p>\n Why then am I suddenly standing here assuming this very important role?<\/p>\n Well, Mr. Richard Walker had the idea of proposing a Burns Night virgin to give the Reply To The Toast To The Lassies.<\/p>\n Whether that was a bright idea or not remains to be seen in the next few minutes.<\/p>\n If it was not – you know who to blame.<\/p>\n If it was – you know who to thank.<\/p>\n Even though this is my first Burns Supper, I was actually surrounded by the influence of Rabbie almost as soon as I came out of the womb as a babbie because I was born on New Year\u2019s Eve – Hogmanay – which is, of course, when everyone sings \u201cAuld Lang Syne.\u201d<\/p>\n And, if you didn\u2019t know, the lyrics from \u201cAuld Lang Syne\u201d come from a poem written by Robert Burns in 1788.<\/p>\n While most people expect the Happy Birthday song on their birthday, I expect \u201cAuld Lang Syne.\u201d<\/p>\n So, imagine when I first came to Japan over 30 years ago, every time I was in a shop at closing time, I thought it was my birthday.<\/p>\n Even with this Burns influence from an early age and the fact that I am actually over a quarter Scottish (grandfather on my mum\u2019s side and great-grandparents on my dad\u2019s side), my knowledge of Scottish culture, the Bard\u2019s works and antics, and even the fabulous traditional food that we\u2019ve enjoyed this evening were rather limited until I started researching to prepare for this Reply.<\/p>\n I admit that I had to look up a few of the items on the menu – Coulibiac (which is apparently Russian), choron sauce (which is apparently French), and Cranachan (which is Scottish) – and I read out the menu to my husband, Hiroshi.<\/p>\n I continued reading about the proceedings for this evening and the people and came to Simon Tross-Youle.<\/p>\n Hiroshi said, \u201cAre you still reading the menu?\u201d<\/p>\n I\u2019m not sure, lassies, would we consider Trossy here to be a dish?<\/p>\n I also explained to Hiroshi that in the Reply, it\u2019s apparently the tradition to make fun of men.<\/p>\n He said, \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, \u201cBecause we can.\u201d<\/p>\n When I agreed to give the Reply, Mr. Walker assured me, and I quote, that \u201cYour counterpart, the gentleman giving the toast, will be available to guide you through what you need to do.\u201d<\/p>\n And Mr. Hendy assured me, and I quote, \u201cSimon by the way is an old hand at Burns Nights, and he can assist you too.\u201d<\/p>\n Mr. Tross-Youle emailed me less than 24 hours before this event saying he was, and I quote, \u201cDesperately sorry not to have responded.\u201d<\/p>\n I guess he wanted to say, \u201cThe best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley.\u201d [Burns quote]<\/p>\n And when I first met Mr. Tross-Youle in person this evening, he was, in fact, a: \u201cWee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie.\u201d [Burns quote]<\/p>\n If you didn\u2019t know, that\u2019s actually from a Burns poem about a mouse.<\/p>\n Speaking of mice\u2026<\/p>\n Why does the Scottish Mickey Mouse no longer use his helicopter? It Disneyland. [\u201cDoes not land\u201d in a Scottish accent]<\/p>\n Some of you in the audience who, like me, aren\u2019t proper Scottish may wonder what does a true Scotsman wear under his kilt. And I did ask that question at the Scottish Highland Games here in Japan a few years ago.<\/p>\n And here\u2019s what I discovered. A true Scotsman will never tell you what he wears under his kilt. He will quite happily show you though.<\/p>\n And I will never ask that question again.<\/p>\n But I will ask you, ladies and gentlemen.<\/p>\n What is the difference between a Scottish sheep farmer and a Rolling Stones song?<\/p>\n \u201cOne says, ‘Hey you, get off of my cloud!”, and the other says, ‘Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!\u201d<\/p>\n Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said (please imagine the Scottish accents here),<\/p>\n \u201cJackie – put your hat and coat on lassie.\u201d<\/p>\n She replied, \u201cAwe Iain that’s nice – are you taking me to the pub with you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNah, I’m just switching the central heating off while I’m oot.\u201d<\/p>\n Yes, the Scotsman is known for being, as my dear Uncle Raymond used to put it, \u201cAs tight as a camel\u2019s arse in a sandstorm.\u201d<\/p>\n Do we have any golfers in the room?<\/p>\n I heard they have a sign on Scottish golf courses that says<\/p>\n \u201cMembers will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling.\u201d<\/p>\n Speaking of balls,<\/p>\n What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?<\/p>\n A man’s undivided attention.<\/p>\n And on the subject of the male anatomy,<\/p>\n Do you know what that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? \u2026 The man.<\/p>\n There\u2019s been a lot of debate about the real difference between men and women.<\/p>\n Well, here\u2019s the answer.<\/p>\n A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.<\/p>\n What is the difference between a man and childbirth?<\/p>\n One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.<\/p>\n Why are men like laxatives? They irritate the shit out of you.<\/p>\n They say a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, but even a fish needs a ride now and again.<\/p>\n Our laddies Richard, Alex, and Simon gave me a bit of a challenge this evening, but I must admit this has been fun.<\/p>\n I\u2019m sure, ladies, you\u2019ll agree that life wouldn\u2019t be such fun without our laddies and we do love them dearly.<\/p>\n So ladies, please charge your glasses.<\/p>\n On behalf of the Lassies, I would like to thank Mr. Alex Hendy and all the organizers of this fabulous evening, Mr. Simon Tross-Youle for his toast, and Mr. Richard Walker for his sound judgment and all the laddies here with us today.<\/p>\n Please be upstanding and join me in a toast to the laddies.<\/p>\n \u201cTo the laddies!”<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_accordion_item][\/et_pb_accordion][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.13.1″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat”]<\/p>\n If, like many people, you\u2019re terrified of public speaking but you have an event coming up, I hope you find these practical techniques helpful:<\/span><\/p>\n <\/b><\/p>\n When you say the names of people in the room, they immediately pay attention and so do those who know them. Others are likely to be curious about the people you mention. This way you can immediately engage your audience.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n In my speech, I mentioned the fabulous Richard Walker, Simon Tross-Youle, Alex Hendy, and Charles.<\/span><\/p>\n You may be tempted to write a full script and read directly from it because you\u2019re worried about your mind going blank (which is normal!). But if you\u2019re holding your paper (or phone) in front of you and just reading, that can create a barrier between you and the audience and isn\u2019t very interesting. Instead, imagine having a conversation with your audience – they will enjoy that more than any attempt to be word perfect!<\/span><\/p>\n For this occasion, I wrote a full script because the speech involved so many facts and jokes. But I did my best to keep the paper to my side and only refer to it when needed.<\/span><\/p>\n From primitive times, human beings have told and listened to stories. When you tell someone the story of something that happened to you or you retell a story that you heard, you can probably do that quite well without a lot of preparation or practice, right? So use stories to your advantage.<\/span> Sometimes, people feel like they need to say more to be more impressive. Often the reverse is true. Many of us are relieved when speeches come to an end, right? Take the pressure off yourself and do your audience a favor by being as concise as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n My speech took around 10 minutes, which was the allotted time in the program.<\/span><\/p>\n Non-verbal communication is powerful. Your appearance says a lot to people. So if you have time to consider what you\u2019ll wear, choose something that fits the occasion. Wear bold colors if you want to make a strong impression. For impromptu speaking when you don\u2019t have a chance to change clothes, check that all your zips and buttons are properly fastened as you stand up (I\u2019ve seen some disasters in that department before now!).<\/span><\/p>\n I wore a favorite red dress for impact and a tartan scarf from my dear Uncle Jimmie, who was from Yorkshire and also tremendously proud of our Scottish ancestry!<\/span><\/p>\n Practice as much as you can in the time that you have. Use the venue where possible. Speak out loud when you can. Otherwise, simply rehearse in your head. The top athlete technique of visualization works well for public speaking too – just be sure that you\u2019re visualizing yourself giving a GREAT speech!<\/span><\/p>\n I practiced as much as I could in the short time that I had before the event. I also videoed myself on my smartphone to check my delivery and see what I could improve.<\/span><\/p>\n How do you feel when a speaker looks nervous or uncomfortable? Not great, right? But when you see a speaker enjoying the experience, you naturally want to listen more. Physiologically, there\u2019s little difference between nerves and excitement. When you\u2019re on a rollercoaster, you can be terrified or thrilled – your choice.<\/span><\/p>\n Even though I was certainly nervous because I was doing something new and very challenging, I took it as an opportunity to have fun and do my best.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n I hope these tips help you to enjoy less effort and more impact the next time you need to speak in public.<\/span><\/p>\n Finally, huge thanks to Richard Walker for inviting me to speak, to Alex Hendy for all the organizing, and Simon Tross-Youle for being a great sport!<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n You may enjoy Episode 215 of the Sasuga! Podcast: <\/span>5 Tips To Ease Presentation Nerves.7 Top Tips For Public Speaking With Less Effort And More Impact <\/b><\/h3>\n
1. Mention people in the audience<\/b><\/b><\/h5>\n
2. Avoid just reading a script<\/b><\/b><\/h5>\n
3. Tell stories<\/b><\/b><\/h5>\n
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<\/span>I told the stories of why I thought it was my birthday when shops were closing in Japan, how I explained Burns Night to my Japanese husband, what happened when I asked what a Scotsman wore under his kilt, and more\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n4. Keep it short<\/b><\/h5>\n
5. Dress for success<\/b><\/h5>\n
6. Practice<\/b><\/h5>\n
7. Enjoy<\/b><\/h5>\n
Love listening to podcasts?<\/b><\/em><\/h4>\n
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