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In Step 1 of this series, we talked about preparing to listen by removing distractions and empathizing<\/a>. <\/span><\/p>\n Once you’re ready to focus on the other person, use these four simple ways to connect in a conversation.<\/p>\n Yes, some cultures consider eye contact disrespectful, but my aim is to help people in the global business culture, which has a heavy Western influence. Eye contact demonstrates confidence and caring.<\/p>\n Look the person in they eye when they\u2019re speaking to you. The speaker appreciates this as a sign that\u00a0you’re listening, and that helps you to connect.<\/p>\n If the speaker looks upward, to the side, or downward, don’t worry. It’s natural to break eye contact while thinking what to say\u00a0or remembering.<\/p>\n Let them think, and then be ready to reconnect with eye contact when they look at you again.<\/p>\n Eye movement is an\u00a0example of a nonverbal cue in a conversation.<\/p>\n Other nonverbal cues are facial expression, posture, gestures, tone of voice, and such.<\/p>\n Pay attention to these to really listen to the other person and understand the\u00a0honne<\/b> (true feelings) behind the\u00a0tatemae<\/b> (facade).<\/p>\n Have you ever asked someone if they’re okay and they say, “Yes, fine.” But their tone of voice doesn’t sound like they’re fine?<\/p>\n If a person’s words\u00a0don’t communicate the same message as\u00a0other cues they’re giving, you have a choice. Maybe the conversation or the relationship isn’t so important, so you can ignore it…or you might want to ask about it. This might need tact, and sometimes it’s best to make a mental note and talk with the person at a better time or in a better place.<\/p>\n By paying attention to the nonverbals, you’re listening at a deeper level to help you truly understand the other person. This can be critical in avoiding unproductive workplace conflicts.<\/p>\n Reassure the speaker that you\u2019re listening with your posture and movements.<\/p>\n For example, lean a little toward the person to show interest.<\/p>\n Avoid\u00a0fidgeting – it suggests that you’re nervous or impatient.<\/p>\n Nod at a pace that matches how the person is speaking and what about.\u00a0Nod\u00a0slowly for more serious topics and more quickly for exciting topics.<\/p>\n Indicate that you\u2019re listening with sounds and words, such as \u201cUh-huh\u201d and \u201cI see.\u201d<\/p>\n We hear this type of acknowledgment frequently in Japanese conversations, as people say, \u201cHai, hai.\u201d<\/p>\n Once\u00a0I was interpreting for an Australian raw materials supplier and Japanese buyer. At the end of the meeting, the Australian beamed, “Well, that went great. He agreed with everything.” I had to explain that\u00a0even though “hai” means “yes,” it\u00a0doesn’t necessarily mean agreement – just that the person is listening.<\/p>\n If this type of vocal acknowledgment is too frequent, it can have the reverse effect and give the impression that the person isn\u2019t listening at all, but instead just making automatic sounds while thinking about something else.<\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 * \u00a0 \u00a0 * \u00a0 \u00a0 * \u00a0 \u00a0 * \u00a0 \u00a0 *<\/p>\n How well are you using eye contact, attention to nonverbals, and acknowledgment with your body and voice to connect with people in conversations?<\/p>\n Next week, we\u2019ll look at Step 3: Confirm<\/a><\/span>, in which I\u2019ll introduce two ways to confirm that you\u2019ve understood the other person in a conversation \u2013 which is crucial for better results, more\u00a0efficiency, and less stress<\/b>.<\/p>\n Working in a global business environment? Keen\u00a0to improve your communication skills for persuasive presentations and meaningful meetings? I’d love to email you communication tips every Tuesday.\u00a0Just sign up here for Sasuga! Tips For You<\/em><\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n Thank you for listening!<\/p>\nFour Simple Ways to Connect in Conversation<\/h2>\n
\n1. Make eye contact<\/b><\/h3>\n
\n2. Pay attention to nonverbals<\/b><\/h3>\n
\n3. Acknowledge with your body<\/b><\/h3>\n
\n4. Acknowledge with your voice<\/b><\/h3>\n