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Of all the communication skills, the one I\u2019ve been least comfortable with is influencing.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not that I\u2019m not good at it. I must be able to influence people – otherwise I wouldn\u2019t have been running my own business for four years.<\/p>\n
But part of me associates influencing with manipulation.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a difference between influencing someone to do something that\u2019s in their interest versus manipulating someone to do something that\u2019s not good for them, but is beneficial to the manipulator.<\/p>\n
I remember the unscrupulous Japanese newspaper salesman<\/b> who came to my door when I was in my first year in Japan and convinced me to subscribe to six months of the newspaper\u2019s morning AND evening editions – even though I couldn\u2019t read that level of Japanese!!!<\/p>\n
I was very bad at saying \u201cno\u201d in those days\u2026<\/p>\n
Now, when I\u2019m selling my services or online products, what\u2019s most important to me is whether what I\u2019m offering is useful for the potential buyer. Nothing makes me happier than hearing how what people have learned from me has helped them to be more successful in their business, more confident, and happier!<\/p>\n
For a while after starting my own business, I didn\u2019t think about the money. My interest was in helping people.<\/p>\n
Then I started to realize that I do actually have to monitor finances and bring in a certain amount of revenue to keep the business going (and pay the mortgage and school fees\u2026)!<\/p>\n
So now, I give a lot of information and encouragement away for free on my blog, in my weekly Sasuga! Tips For You, on Facebook Lives, and such. My hope is that this will raise people\u2019s awareness of who I am and what I do, and that some of you will decide to invest in yourself by buying my services or products. This helps me to keep this business model sustainable.<\/p>\n
When I read Robert Cialdini\u2019s book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, I realized that this is reciprocity. It\u2019s the first of the 6 key principles of influence that he identified.<\/p>\n
So I thought it would be interesting to look at these 6 key principles and see how they relate to my business – and how you can use them too to influence with integrity.<\/p>\n
1.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Reciprocity<\/b><\/p>\n
If someone does you a favor, it\u2019s natural to want to give something in return. Many of us feel compelled to buy something, for example, after nibbling a free sample in the supermarket.<\/p>\n
This influencing approach forms a core part of my business model. I love it because it\u2019s give and take, and doesn\u2019t feel at all manipulative \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
How does reciprocity apply to you? Can you do something for a colleague to encourage them to do something for you later?<\/p>\n
2.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Commitment and consistency<\/b><\/p>\n
Cialdini quotes examples of research showing that when we say we\u2019re going to do something or when we start to behave in a certain way, we\u2019re more likely to continue. We make a commitment and our tendency is to be consistent with that.<\/p>\n
While Cialdini is talking about commitment and consistency on the part of the person being influenced, it\u2019s worth recognizing that commitment and consistency on the part of the influencer help to build trust. And we\u2019re more likely to be influenced by people we trust and like (see principle 5). For example, you know you can rely on me to post a new blog and send out Sasuga! Tips For You<\/a><\/span> every week. I\u2019ve committed to that and am consistent.<\/p>\n How can you encourage people to commit and be consistent? And what can you commit to and be consistent about to help build trust with people you want to influence in your workplace or business?<\/p>\n 3.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Social proof<\/b><\/p>\n When we see others doing something, we\u2019re often influenced to do it ourselves.<\/p>\n The other day, I saw a long line outside a taiyaki place in Yotsuya. I was so tempted to join and get my own fish-shaped confectionary filled with sweet bean paste – but my husband dragged me away…<\/p>\n In my business, I\u2019m gradually working on using social proof as a way to influence people (with integrity) by posting testimonials from those who have worked with me or bought my online products.<\/p>\n For example, soon you\u2019ll see a video interview with Toru Nishikawa, CEO of Preferred Networks, who I coached for his keynote presentation in the States. You\u2019ll also see testimonials on the promotional pages for the Speak Like An Expert Online<\/a><\/strong> course.<\/p>\n What sort of social proof can you use to influence people in your business?<\/p>\n 4.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Authority<\/b><\/p>\n Many of us tend to obey authority figures. Cialdini cites some scary experiments where people even did what the expert said when it was clearly harmful to others.<\/p>\n In business, I think of this principle as demonstrating expertise and credibility to influence people. I do my best to show my expertise and credibility by broadly sharing communication techniques, advice, and encouragement.<\/p>\n What\u2019s your area of expertise? How can you let people know about it?<\/p>\n 5.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Liking\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n We\u2019re more likely to be persuaded by people we like.<\/p>\n