What sort of communicator do you want to be?<\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
For years I\u2019ve been working on becoming a better communicator by improving my listening. I\u2019m a very passionate and animated person and get excited about things when speaking. But I\u2019ve found this can be my strength and also my weakness. For me, being excited and passionate when communicating leads to interrupting and thinking about what I\u2019m going to say next – as opposed to really listening to what the other person has to say.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
What\u2019s a communication success story that you can share with us?<\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
In my former profession as a law enforcement officer, I was a master interviewer and interrogator. Interrogating suspects of crime came easily for me and I was able to obtain confessions from criminals who did some really horrible things. I was a pro at reading their nonverbal cues and detecting when people were withholding information. Drawing out more information and helping people find words to describe a situation was something I was very good at and I brought that skill with me to my life now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Fast forward to today\u2026 as a mom of two small girls under the age of 5 and an active duty military husband, many of my skills as a cop transfer to my life now! As funny as it is! This is especially true when it comes to communication with my small children.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
When my daughters act aggressively, show frustration or become defiant, I know it\u2019s because they can\u2019t find the words to express the feelings they\u2019re having. Instead of getting angry at their outbursts – as noisy, disruptive, and annoying as they might be at times – I usually choose to respond with empathy and love (I\u2019m human, so it\u2019s not 100 percent of the time). Hugging them, speaking softly, looking in their eyes, telling them I understand and asking simple questions frequently brings peace to them and shows them that I love and understand them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
This is a very simple success story, but one that anyone can choose to have once we put ourselves in the shoes of a small child – or even an adult colleague – who isn\u2019t able to express their feelings well.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
What\u2019s a communication failure that you can share with us?<\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
For some reason it\u2019s taken several<\/em> times of doing this to learn a valuable lesson about NOT texting important things in messages or in groups as opposed to having a real conversation on the phone, video call, or in person!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I\u2019m part of a homeschool group in my community and recently I \u201cspoke up\u201d about one of our moms holding an activity that people had to pay for. As a network, we previously decided to volunteer our time – this mom was planning to create a really amazing experience for the kids! She needed to order special paper and supplies and do tons of prep work before the kids could do the activity.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I loved the idea and didn\u2019t have any issue paying for the class. The other moms in the group expressed concern about the cost of the class, so I thought, \u201cOh I\u2019ll go ahead and comment in our Facebook group and set this straight.” Bad idea. Even though I thought<\/em> I was being super positive, supportive, and excited about her idea, the other mom told me she felt as if she was being accused of taking money and that her integrity was under attack! Hmm, major fail on my part.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Of course, I\u2019m not in control of how others respond<\/em> to what I \u201csay.\u201d But I am certainly in control of how I choose to deliver information. In retrospect, I should have had a real conversation instead of writing in a Facebook group.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Lesson learned! For the last time I sure hope!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Creating a warm and welcoming environment for open discussion is a challenge I\u2019ve been working on lately. In the past, I\u2019ve been quick to overshare my own opinions. So instead of doing that – which doesn\u2019t benefit anyone – I\u2019ve been spending more time quiet, more time asking questions, and more time allowing the other person to fully share what\u2019s on her or his mind before I speak. And when I do speak, I\u2019m working on not oversharing and trying to fill all the space with my words. There\u2019s nothing wrong with taking time to pause and think. I\u2019m working on embracing that!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Just be. Think, observe, then speak. Sounds simple, but can mean so much when it comes to putting thoughts into words.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Place enormous value in being a true listener. It seems like people are always saying, \u201cI could be a better listener.\u201d Listening is NOT a new concept. I encourage you to do some real thinking on how<\/em> true listening will empower your audience, partner, colleague or child to feel<\/strong>. Knowing you have the ability to effect change within another person through authentic and loving expression of your thoughts is priceless.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I love Annie\u2019s attitude. I also love the way she teaches. Annie currently offers live online workouts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday – which you can do from the comfort of your own home. I started doing this at the beginning of September because work was busy and it was difficult to find the time to go to the gym.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Once you sign up, Annie sends you a link to join the live online workout by video conferencing software (which is very quick and easy to download to your computer, tablet, or smartphone). You can then see and hear Annie leading everyone through the workout in Okinawa (sometimes with cute interruptions from her daughters). If you\u2019re a little shy, don\u2019t worry. People will only see you if you decide to switch your camera on.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n The workouts are simple to understand and fun. Annie also gives different options if you want something easier or harder. And if you can\u2019t join live, you\u2019ll receive a recording that you can do in your own time. It\u2019s GREAT.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n This is what it looks like when Annie\u2019s daughter comes for a quick hug in the middle of the live online workout!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Sasuga! Tips for You<\/u><\/a> –\u00a0<\/b>Practical techniques and uplifting stories on\u00a0leadership, communication,<\/b>\u00a0and making the most of your\u00a0time<\/b>\u00a0and<\/b>\u00a0energy<\/b>\u2014delivered every two weeks. For less effort and more impact in your work and life,\u00a0click here and subscribe<\/u><\/a><\/b>.What\u2019s your biggest communication challenge right now?<\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
What communication, tips, resources, or advice can you share?<\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Note from Helen<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
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