I was lost – somewhere in Tokyo – five minutes before my meeting with a new potential client was scheduled to start.
The company should have been only a few minutes’ walk from the station. I’d arrived 30 minutes ago and had been walking, following directions on my phone, and asking people for help since then. But I still couldn’t find the building.
I phoned, apologized, and jumped in the next taxi that came by, ultimately arriving almost 10 minutes late.
Not a great way to build credibility.
On top of that, most of my corporate clients come to me through referrals, so usually, I immediately walk into the room with a chunk of credibility. Not in this case. The company had found me through my Internet presence, so how did they know I could really walk my talk?
I had to build my credibility from nothing – actually worse than nothing.
The president entered the room. I apologized in Japanese for being late and bowed deeply. He didn’t look impressed. No immediate formal exchange of business cards. Uh oh. He set his laptop down on the table and busied himself for a moment.
“Maybe I should just leave and save time for both of us,” I thought.
But then I realized, “He has every right to be unimpressed with me. I arrived late. He doesn’t know who I am or what I can do.”
After a moment, he passed his business card across the table. His body language spoke volumes – definitely not happy.
I noticed for a moment that my shoulders were hunching slightly. Clearly, I wasn’t feeling confident about this conversation. I adjusted my posture.
He started to ask me in Japanese about communication skills. This is my area of expertise, so it was easy for me to respond. His attitude gradually started to change and it was as if he was melting. Maybe he was impressed by my knowledge and experience, maybe by my Japanese, maybe both.
Even though I might normally have asked questions early to better understand his needs, he had plenty of questions for me, so I answered them.
Only then did I ask more questions to help me understand the challenges he was facing, so that I could share my relevant experience and expertise.
As I left the room at the end of the meeting, the president shook my hand warmly and was beaming. We’d agreed that I should follow up with his assistant to plan a series of communication workshops for his staff.
So what tips can we take from this?
3 Ways To Build Credibility
1. Put yourself in their shoes
Even though I had an initial thought to leave the difficult situation, I realized it was natural that the person I was meeting was not impressed with me because I was late. Putting myself in his shoes gave me a different perspective. What is the perspective of the person you’re meeting?
2. Balance questions and answers, honestly
Questions help you better understand what you can do to help potential clients. No need to ask immediately, though. Let the other person lead the conversation if they want to. In the situation above, I respectfully waited to ask questions until I’d answered all his initial questions.
When it’s your turn, talk about what you know that’s relevant to their questions or problems. No need to bore them with other stuff.
Be honest about what you don’t know. Honesty is crucial for establishing credibility and building trust. Sometimes people tell me they’re reluctant to admit that they don’t have the answer. Provided you can demonstrate relevant expertise for much of the problem, it’s better to admit what you don’t know than to lie about it. Even if people believe your lie at the time, your credibility will be destroyed if and when they find out the truth.
3. Beware of your body language
If your confidence isn’t at its best, that can easily show in your body language. You may hunch your shoulders a little, cross your arms or legs, and make yourself small (Amy Cuddy gives some great examples and insights in her TED Talk). So be aware of that and make a conscious effort to sit up, maybe even lean forward a little to show interest, and open your hands. It will make you feel more confident and look more credible.
These three tips may seem simple. And they are. And yet so often people fall into the trap of focusing on themselves and failing to connect and establish credibility.
How did my story turn out? With a happy end. I ran a series of workshops for the client and we’ve since agreed to run more. I’m so happy because, even though I was so close to giving up on the opportunity, it ended up being a deeply rewarding one with highly enthusiastic and talented participants and a wonderful company to work with.
What will you do differently the next time you need to build credibility?
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Huge thanks to TopTia for the photo!