Of all the communication skills, the one I’ve been least comfortable with is influencing.
It’s not that I’m not good at it. I must be able to influence people – otherwise I wouldn’t have been running my own business for four years.
But part of me associates influencing with manipulation.
There’s a difference between influencing someone to do something that’s in their interest versus manipulating someone to do something that’s not good for them, but is beneficial to the manipulator.
I remember the unscrupulous Japanese newspaper salesman who came to my door when I was in my first year in Japan and convinced me to subscribe to six months of the newspaper’s morning AND evening editions – even though I couldn’t read that level of Japanese!!!
I was very bad at saying “no” in those days…
Now, when I’m selling my services or online products, what’s most important to me is whether what I’m offering is useful for the potential buyer. Nothing makes me happier than hearing how what people have learned from me has helped them to be more successful in their business, more confident, and happier!
For a while after starting my own business, I didn’t think about the money. My interest was in helping people.
Then I started to realize that I do actually have to monitor finances and bring in a certain amount of revenue to keep the business going (and pay the mortgage and school fees…)!
So now, I give a lot of information and encouragement away for free on my blog, in my weekly Sasuga! Tips For You, on Facebook Lives, and such. My hope is that this will raise people’s awareness of who I am and what I do, and that some of you will decide to invest in yourself by buying my services or products. This helps me to keep this business model sustainable.
When I read Robert Cialdini’s book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, I realized that this is reciprocity. It’s the first of the 6 key principles of influence that he identified.
So I thought it would be interesting to look at these 6 key principles and see how they relate to my business – and how you can use them too to influence with integrity.
Robert Cialdini’s 6 key principles of influence
1. Reciprocity
If someone does you a favor, it’s natural to want to give something in return. Many of us feel compelled to buy something, for example, after nibbling a free sample in the supermarket.
This influencing approach forms a core part of my business model. I love it because it’s give and take, and doesn’t feel at all manipulative 🙂
How does reciprocity apply to you? Can you do something for a colleague to encourage them to do something for you later?
2. Commitment and consistency
Cialdini quotes examples of research showing that when we say we’re going to do something or when we start to behave in a certain way, we’re more likely to continue. We make a commitment and our tendency is to be consistent with that.
While Cialdini is talking about commitment and consistency on the part of the person being influenced, it’s worth recognizing that commitment and consistency on the part of the influencer help to build trust. And we’re more likely to be influenced by people we trust and like (see principle 5). For example, you know you can rely on me to post a new blog and send out Sasuga! Tips For You every week. I’ve committed to that and am consistent.
How can you encourage people to commit and be consistent? And what can you commit to and be consistent about to help build trust with people you want to influence in your workplace or business?
3. Social proof
When we see others doing something, we’re often influenced to do it ourselves.
The other day, I saw a long line outside a taiyaki place in Yotsuya. I was so tempted to join and get my own fish-shaped confectionary filled with sweet bean paste – but my husband dragged me away…
In my business, I’m gradually working on using social proof as a way to influence people (with integrity) by posting testimonials from those who have worked with me or bought my online products.
For example, soon you’ll see a video interview with Toru Nishikawa, CEO of Preferred Networks, who I coached for his keynote presentation in the States. You’ll also see testimonials on the promotional pages for the Speak Like An Expert online course.
What sort of social proof can you use to influence people in your business?
4. Authority
Many of us tend to obey authority figures. Cialdini cites some scary experiments where people even did what the expert said when it was clearly harmful to others.
In business, I think of this principle as demonstrating expertise and credibility to influence people. I do my best to show my expertise and credibility by broadly sharing communication techniques, advice, and encouragement.
What’s your area of expertise? How can you let people know about it?
5. Liking
We’re more likely to be persuaded by people we like.
That’s why I show you who I am as a person online. You can easily see photos and videos of me, such as in this Facebook Live. I want you to know who I am. I hope you’ll like me and feel comfortable buying from me if what I offer is useful for you.
Think about how you interact with the people you want to influence. Your colleagues and clients are more likely to like you if you offer them the occasional genuine smile or show real interest in them.
6. Scarcity
Rummy. It’s a type of chocolate that’s only sold in winter in Japan. I buy loads of it because I can only get it for part of the year and it’s very popular in the Iwata household!
When something is scarce – only available for a limited time or in a limited number – we tend to want it more.
For a long time, I was reluctant to use this principle in my business because it seemed manipulative.
But I now see this in a different light.
People are busy and easily distracted. You might think, “Oh, that course looks interesting, but I don’t have time just now” or you might be looking at the information when an email comes in and you turn your attention to the email and forget about the course.
So if I build some scarcity into what I’m offering to you, I’m doing you a favor by giving you an incentive to take action on something that will be useful for you.
I’m not interested in selling something to you if you don’t need it.
What can you do to use the idea of scarcity to influence people with integrity? How can you help them to take action that’s to their advantage?
So there we have it. Six key principles of influence: Reciprocity, Commitment and consistency, Social proof, Authority, Liking, and Scarcity. I wholeheartedly recommend reading or listening to the full Influence book – I’ve listened to the audiobook multiple times.
Now back to the title of this post: how can I make you do what I want? Well, what’s important is that you won’t feel bad about it. I only want you to do what’s good for you and what you’re going to feel good about 🙂
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