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Have you thought how much stress comes from what we tell ourselves about a situation rather than from the situation itself?
Last week, I spent a lovely time in Germany, reuniting with friends from my student days there – 29 years ago!!!
On the final morning in our Airbnb, we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast of breads, cheeses, hams, and lots of Yorkshire tea (always carry teabags!). I was playing with some of the fun features I’d found on Instagram, sending silly photos to my daughter (who was with my parents in the UK), and I sent a Facebook message to my dad to say I’d be setting off for the airport soon.
Dad replied, “You should be at the airport now. Your flight leaves at 11:10.”
Yikes!
I pulled out my boarding card (fortunately, I’d checked in online and printed that). I’d mistaken my arrival time for my departure time! The gate was closing in LESS THAN 40 MINUTES…
I gave my friends a hurried goodbye hug and hopped in the car.
Until that point, I’d been acting without thinking. It was only when I was in the car that the voice in my head spoke up in a panic and I noticed my heart pounding.
Gate closing in less than 40 minutes… About 30 minutes to the airport. I would have to check in my luggage because I had too much liquid (a couple of bottles of German beer for my dad), and go through immigration and security. How could I do all that in 10 minutes???
It would have been easy and natural to work myself up into a state of heightened stress about how I was going to miss my flight.
This is what happened instead.
I realized I couldn’t do anything about the situation. But I could change what I was saying to myself in my mind. It was the words, not the situation, that were causing me stress.
So instead of choosing words of panic, I said to myself, “I’ll do what I can to get the flight. I’ll go to the front of each queue and ask politely if I can jump in because my flight is leaving soon. And if I don’t get the flight, I’ll have time to decide what to do next.”
As it turned out, I got to the gate with two minutes to spare (thank you, kind queuers). The only downside was that I had to give up my dad’s beer because I didn’t have time to check in my luggage.
It could have been so different if I’d chosen to tell myself stressful stories. I would certainly have felt panicked. And my stressed state might even have made people less willing to let me through quickly. I could have missed my flight.
What a difference our words make – not only to others, but also to ourselves.
So next time you feel your stress level rising, pause and pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself. Let go of what you can’t control and choose words that make you feel better.
Oh, the best part? Even though I lost the beer, I kept my sausages!