LIVEオンラインフィットネスのトレーナ、Annie Peguero。過去のキャリアは犯罪者に尋問をする女性取調官。そして現在はトレーナーであり2児の母。女性取締官だった頃は非言語シグナルから人の心理を読み取ることを得意としていたAnnieが考えるコミュニケーションで大切なものとは何か。Annieにインタビューしました。
– An Interview with Annie Peguero, Healthy Life Strategist
How resourceful are you? When you’re faced with a difficult situation, what do you do to overcome it?
I’m writing this just after Okinawa has been hit by two typhoons. Annie Peguero is an entrepreneur, healthy life strategist, and mother of two small girls based in Okinawa. Her family was without electricity for four days. Nevertheless, she continued to communicate with her online community by plugging her phone into her car and using the electricity from that! That’s resourceful.
So I thought it would be great to hear Annie’s perspectives on communication. What have been her biggest successes and struggles. What lessons does she have to share with you?
What sort of communicator do you want to be?
For years I’ve been working on becoming a better communicator by improving my listening. I’m a very passionate and animated person and get excited about things when speaking. But I’ve found this can be my strength and also my weakness. For me, being excited and passionate when communicating leads to interrupting and thinking about what I’m going to say next – as opposed to really listening to what the other person has to say.
What’s a communication success story that you can share with us?
In my former profession as a law enforcement officer, I was a master interviewer and interrogator. Interrogating suspects of crime came easily for me and I was able to obtain confessions from criminals who did some really horrible things. I was a pro at reading their nonverbal cues and detecting when people were withholding information. Drawing out more information and helping people find words to describe a situation was something I was very good at and I brought that skill with me to my life now.
Fast forward to today… as a mom of two small girls under the age of 5 and an active duty military husband, many of my skills as a cop transfer to my life now! As funny as it is! This is especially true when it comes to communication with my small children.
When my daughters act aggressively, show frustration or become defiant, I know it’s because they can’t find the words to express the feelings they’re having. Instead of getting angry at their outbursts – as noisy, disruptive, and annoying as they might be at times – I usually choose to respond with empathy and love (I’m human, so it’s not 100 percent of the time). Hugging them, speaking softly, looking in their eyes, telling them I understand and asking simple questions frequently brings peace to them and shows them that I love and understand them.
This is a very simple success story, but one that anyone can choose to have once we put ourselves in the shoes of a small child – or even an adult colleague – who isn’t able to express their feelings well.
What’s a communication failure that you can share with us?
For some reason it’s taken several times of doing this to learn a valuable lesson about NOT texting important things in messages or in groups as opposed to having a real conversation on the phone, video call, or in person!
I’m part of a homeschool group in my community and recently I “spoke up” about one of our moms holding an activity that people had to pay for. As a network, we previously decided to volunteer our time – this mom was planning to create a really amazing experience for the kids! She needed to order special paper and supplies and do tons of prep work before the kids could do the activity.
I loved the idea and didn’t have any issue paying for the class. The other moms in the group expressed concern about the cost of the class, so I thought, “Oh I’ll go ahead and comment in our Facebook group and set this straight.” Bad idea. Even though I thought I was being super positive, supportive, and excited about her idea, the other mom told me she felt as if she was being accused of taking money and that her integrity was under attack! Hmm, major fail on my part.
Of course, I’m not in control of how others respond to what I “say.” But I am certainly in control of how I choose to deliver information. In retrospect, I should have had a real conversation instead of writing in a Facebook group.
Lesson learned! For the last time I sure hope!
What’s your biggest communication challenge right now?
Creating a warm and welcoming environment for open discussion is a challenge I’ve been working on lately. In the past, I’ve been quick to overshare my own opinions. So instead of doing that – which doesn’t benefit anyone – I’ve been spending more time quiet, more time asking questions, and more time allowing the other person to fully share what’s on her or his mind before I speak. And when I do speak, I’m working on not oversharing and trying to fill all the space with my words. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to pause and think. I’m working on embracing that!
What communication, tips, resources, or advice can you share?
Just be. Think, observe, then speak. Sounds simple, but can mean so much when it comes to putting thoughts into words.
Place enormous value in being a true listener. It seems like people are always saying, “I could be a better listener.” Listening is NOT a new concept. I encourage you to do some real thinking on how true listening will empower your audience, partner, colleague or child to feel. Knowing you have the ability to effect change within another person through authentic and loving expression of your thoughts is priceless.
Note from Helen
I love Annie’s attitude. I also love the way she teaches. Annie currently offers live online workouts every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday – which you can do from the comfort of your own home. I started doing this at the beginning of September because work was busy and it was difficult to find the time to go to the gym.
Once you sign up, Annie sends you a link to join the live online workout by video conferencing software (which is very quick and easy to download to your computer, tablet, or smartphone). You can then see and hear Annie leading everyone through the workout in Okinawa (sometimes with cute interruptions from her daughters). If you’re a little shy, don’t worry. People will only see you if you decide to switch your camera on.
The workouts are simple to understand and fun. Annie also gives different options if you want something easier or harder. And if you can’t join live, you’ll receive a recording that you can do in your own time. It’s GREAT.
This is what it looks like when Annie’s daughter comes for a quick hug in the middle of the live online workout!
ニュースレターSasuga! Tips For You – あなたをスキルアップさせる実践的なテクニック、学びのツール、刺激とひらめきを毎週火曜日に英日両方で配信
