このインタビューでは、ヨガブッディの創立者である斉木あしなさんのコミュニケーションにおける成功とチャレン
An Interview With Ashina Saiki, Founder of Yoga Buddhi
One of the highlights of my week is Ashina’s yoga class (often followed by a great chat over lunch). I love the way she welcomes everyone at the beginning of each class with a few minutes for us to share how we’re feeling. And as we’re relaxing into the poses, she talks gently about yoga philosophy and Ayurvedic medicine and practical tips that we can apply in our lives.
Ashina is so warm and calm. But as I found out when I interviewed her, she wasn’t always like that…
What kind of communicator do you want to be?
As a yoga instructor, I’m a yogi (yoga practitioner), so I should communicate with that in mind.
Yoga comes from Sanskrit and means “union” or “connection.” This means that the body and mind are united and that all people are connected as one. From the perspective of yoga, thinking that we are separate from each other is wrong.
Communication connects people. We each think differently, feel differently, and interpret the world in our own way. By communicating, these differences become clear and, curiously, the differences enable us to connect.
We’re all from the same source. But we tend to think of ourselves as not connected. We should see ourselves in other people. To illustrate this, I was born in Japan, but what if I’d have been born in a war-torn country and struggled though childhood in that environment.
I admit that I still struggle to see other people as me, but that’s what I aim toward.
I want to be the sort of communicator who recognizes and sees beyond superficial differences and finds oneness with others.
What is one communication success that you can share with us?
I wanted to rent a yoga studio in Ginza. This is a rather expensive area with experienced and tough landlords. It was the first time for me to rent my own yoga space.
I found a location that I liked, but it was a little expensive for me. I had to be careful of costs because I run my own business.
I wanted the landlord to reduce the rent for me. I spoke with a mediator who spoke with the landlord. Ultimately, the landlord offered a discount about 50 percent of what I’d wanted.
In the contract too, I wanted certain things, but with each one the landlord met me halfway instead of agreeing to what I wanted. I was a bit annoyed at not getting my way and worried about the business. I had to compromise on everything. But I realized this was a negotiation and I had to accept it.
Then I finally met the landlord in person. I’d created a picture in my mind of him as a strict and stingy person, but actually he was lovely. We even met each other’s families.
I realized that even though I had felt that I’d had to compromise on everything to rent the yoga studio, he probably felt the same. Actually, we had collaborated, so that he was able to rent out his property and I got my own yoga studio. And he’s a nice person, so I now see it as a communication success.
Why do you think he cooperated with you – agreeing 50 percent instead of insisting on 100 percent for himself?
I think the mediator convinced him. I was lucky to find that mediator.
So what did you do or say that made the mediator want to negotiate for you like that?
Ah, perhaps it was because I spoke very openly with him about what I wanted. I talked about the wonderful people who come to my classes and the benefit they would get if I had my own yoga studio.
[Note from Helen: This reminds me of what Haruka Mera said in her interview: Tell People Clearly What You Want – And You Can Achieve Your Dreams.]
What is one communication failure that you can share with us?
When I was working in publishing, it was very busy. One of my colleagues was a young man who had just graduated. I was about 25, so only a few years older than him.
He repeatedly arrived late for work even though we didn’t start until 10 a.m. – later than most companies.
I told him to come early, but he would still come at around 11 a.m.
One day, I was really busy. And when he eventually turned up and sat in his chair, I kicked his trash can! The can went flying across the office. He shrank into his chair.
And he was still late the next day!
I was young and this was before I did yoga. I easily got irritated and lost my temper in those days.
If I were in that situation now, I would talk with him about why he was late. What caused it? Did he live on his own with no one to wake him? Did he watch TV until late at night? I would have helped him to understand the cause and find a solution.
I couldn’t solve it with violence! That was a communication failure.
What impact did you have on your work?
Even though he was late, he was smart and had good ideas. But I didn’t listen to him. I’m sure our output would have been better with his input.
How did you feel?
Always frustrated. I put a label on him that he was always late, so I was annoyed no matter what he did and couldn’t work effectively with him.
It would be different if we worked together now because I’m not so irritable thanks to yoga.
When did you start yoga?
About a year later. As part of my work, I paid attention to the latest trends.
There was a yoga boom at the time and I wanted to write a book about yoga. I went to a yoga studio for the first time and then decided to leave the corporate world and become a yoga instructor myself. At first, I worked for various yoga schools, but now I’ve achieved my dream of opening my own studio.
What is most challenging for you in communication right now?
I’ve recently thought a lot about the appropriate depth of communication and how it affects me.
I learned yoga in India and I’m teaching what I learned in Japan. I meet many people through yoga.
People have good and bad days. When I’m talking with someone who’s positive, we can be happy together. But when I talk with someone who’s upset or having a hard time, I easily get affected. Women have a lot of compassion, so we empathize if someone isn’t feeling good.
In the past, I listened to people’s troubles and shared my personal experiences, which often made me upset too.
Now I aim to be more professional and help them find a solution through yoga rather than from my personal experience. For example, if someone has put on weight and is concerned about her appearance, I talk about the yoga philosophy.
According to yoga, our body is a palace and our spirit is inside. So the inside is important. If the body has gained a kilo, it’s not such a big deal according to yoga – even though we think of yoga as exercise. It’s natural that we get older and the body changes and we eventually lose the body. Even as the body changes, we can still be happy and do fun things. It’s about the mind rather than the physical body.
What communication skill, resource, or advice would you recommend to our readers?
Everyone should relax more! When people are tense or putting on a facade, they can’t demonstrate their true potential and really connect with people.
When I first met Helen, I was a little nervous because I wanted to impress her. But now I’m relaxed and can talk openly.
We should relax and focus on honne (true feelings) instead of tatemae (putting on a facade) even if you’re wearing a suit and heels!
What else do you want to say to Sasuga! readers?
I would love to welcome you to my yoga studio in Ginza! For two years, I ran classes at Ginza Hub, which is a great co-working space. Fortunately, my classes were so successful that I had to move to my own studio.
We have a maximum of 9 people per class, so it’s easy to communicate with others. We always share a little at the beginning of the class about how we’re feeling or any good news. It’s a very at-home and relaxed atmosphere. And you can meet Helen there too!
Please come along!
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海外のクライアントや同僚ともっとクリアに、もっと自信と説得力をもってコミュニケーションしたいと思っている方に朗報です！！
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Huge thanks to TopTia for the photo!