Yesterday, I coached a lovely Japanese lady. She had a communication-related goal, but hadn’t been making progress.
I asked her why she wanted to achieve that goal, and she gave a reason.
I then asked why that was important to her, so she gave a deeper reason.
I continued with asking why that was important to her.
This continued. Every time I asked why, she took a little longer to reply – thinking more about her response.
The more deeply she thought about and understood her reasons for wanting to achieve her goal, the more motivated she was to achieve it.
Have you ever felt irritated by a two-year-old constantly asking “Why?” Well, maybe we should learn from these little ones.
Questions lead to deeper understanding of ourselves and others, of problems and solutions. Deeper understanding can lead to better results, greater efficiency, and less stress, which is very useful in the global workplace. 🙂
In fact, asking “Why?” between 3-5 times is a common approach to problem solving in certain organizations and business improvement approaches.
But a word of warning.
Asking “Why?” in the workplace might come across as confrontational. With that in mind, here are two ways to avoid unnecessary and unproductive conflict.
Two Ways to Avoid Unnecessary Conflict in the Workplace
1. Build the environment before asking why
For example, at the beginning of a meeting, agree with your colleagues to ask challenging questions in the interests of reaching the best solutions (I talk about bringing out your inner demon). Then everyone can feel more comfortable to speak up and question. If you find it difficult to ask questions in meetings, just follow the 5 simple steps in this free PDF to get started. You’ll also find 25 powerful questions that you can use for better results and efficiency in your meetings. Click here to get 25 Questions For More Productive Meetings.
2. Build the relationship before asking why
In a busy workplace, it’s easy to focus on email and tasks while forgetting about the people. But taking a bit of time to get to know your colleagues and clients helps people be more open to questions that can lead to better results, greater efficiency, and less stress.
With this word of warning and two tips in mind, what questions can you ask today?
Thanks, TopTia, for the photo.