An Interview With Tia Haygood, Photographer and Founder of TopTia Photography
Communication plays a crucial role no matter what business you’re in. In the photography business, we can think about what the photos say about the person they portray and we can think about how the photographer communicates with her clients.
I met the fabulous photographer Tia Haygood two years ago. When I saw her outstanding photography work, I started collaborating with her regularly for images on my website as well as in my book 英語の仕事術 (Eigo no Shigoto-jutsu).
It was wonderful to ask her about her communication successes and struggles as a businesswoman in Japan.
What kind of communicator do you want to be?
I would like to be a cognizant communicator. Someone who’s very aware of how my client, friend, or whomever I’m communicating with communicates and wants to be communicated with.
It goes along the lines of the personality type of the person I’m dealing with.
But it’s also the way they communicate. Are they a fast talker? Are they a slow talker? Do they talk a lot? Is the client a busy businessman who wants to enhance his brand? Or is it a child running around the park?
That’s pretty much the span of my clients at TopTia Photography. So obviously I’m not going to communicate with the businessman the way that I would communicate with the child. So I want to be flexible and aware of how my clients communicate.
What difference does that make for your clients?
It helps me personalize the experience. I need to be aware of how my client feels and what their goals are, what they want to do, and how they want to do it. They’re a part of the process of creating a photo.
There are other photography studios that are one-size-fits-all — like with the lighting, the studio, the whole experience. And maybe to some people that’s great, but others want someone to confide in and bounce ideas off of. So to be able to achieve that goal, I need to be a flexible communicator.
And I love being funny. So oftentimes I’m going to tell a joke or say something to help people relax. I have yet to come across someone who is stern or did not pop a smile at a joke. Everyone loves a good laugh and to be relaxed even if the picture is a serious one.
Nobody really wants to create a photo of being unapproachable or unengaging. You want to be firm and have a sense of power, but still be likable and personable. And that’s the most frequent request I get from my male clients who are in business as well as some powerful ladies who are in business as well.
What is one communication success that you can share with us?
Well, I believe it is saying no. Get used to it. Fall in love with it. Say “No, no, no.” Practice it in the mirror 10 times.
That was the most difficult thing I had to learn quickly in my early weeks of TopTia. I noticed that when TopTia started, a lot of people heard about my services and said, “Oh, you’re photographer. That’s great.” So the response to that news was a mix of praise, congratulations, and some paid clients.
There were also clients that were interested in pro bono work. I was open to the idea, and I thought it was a smart idea to get exposure and experience. But what I didn’t know, and what my business mentor Robert Millar said, is that saying yes to things that you don’t want to do can cheapen your brand and bog you down energy-wise.
Right before I was about to say yes, I think we had a get-together — you (Helen), Rob, and a couple of other entrepreneurs — and we were talking about the importance of saying no. I was still resistant toward the idea of saying no because that’s rejecting somebody. So that’s one thing I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to make someone feel sad. And I felt I was potentially rejecting potential future opportunities.
So I told the first person no. I think it was for a Mother’s Day get-together. And the minute I said no, I felt empowered. I still felt bad about the missed potential opportunities down the road. But the more I said no, the more I realized that I was taking myself seriously and that I was sending a message to others that I am a force to be taken seriously. That missed opportunity opened up time for me to grow, to practice, or to put paid work in those timeslots. Best lesson learned.
What advice would you give people to learn how to say no?
I learned I needed to put a bit of time between the request and the answer. This helps me get myself ready to say no or to plan how I’m going to say no.
So someone the other day came up to me and asked if I would be willing to do some photos for free for this publication. Instead of immediately saying no or being blunt, I told them I would check my schedule. I asked for some time to confer with my other clients to make sure I didn’t have any other obligations. So just adding that bit of time to come back and say, “Well, you know what, I had time to think about it and…” or “When I looked at my schedule…” or “I looked at my list of resources, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to commit to that.”
I had a friend yesterday ask if she could stay at my place. So I gave it a night and thought about my “no” answer. Once I came up with the appropriate answer, I was able to say, “Well you know, it’s kind of a hectic time for me right now. I don’t think I’m going to be able to host any guests at this point.” And she was fine with it.
She said, “Oh, can you give me some advice for a hostel or give me some links?” And I gave her the links. We’re still fine. We’re still going to go to lunch when she flies in, so there were no burned bridges.
What is one communication failure you can share with us?
Oh boy, do I have a doozy!
It was a potential client because ultimately we did not do the photo shoot. But a friend of a friend introduced me to somebody who needed some beautiful spring photos. I loved the project, and I wanted to help this client. But within eight hours of being introduced, I had five messages, two missed phone calls, and a panic message from the friend who introduced me to the friend.
So that raised a couple flags. But at the same time, I thought, “Okay, this is a person who communicates differently.” And I felt that I wanted to cater to her needs a little bit more and quite diligently.
However, after two weeks of the same constant messaging and phone calls every day, I was just worn out. I’d feel my phone buzz and hope it wasn’t her. It turned the excitement of me giving my services to her into a very unpleasant experience. And to make a long story short, our schedules just didn’t match up.
We were trying to do something for the cherry blossom season. And ultimately I had to go somewhere else and the cherry blossoms were late this year. So she ended up using a different photographer. And I was perfectly fine with it.
But the communication fail happened on two fronts. First, I failed to communicate my boundaries. Clearly this person thought she was my only client, and that was not the case. And I failed to tell her that I have other people who have photos and concerns. I didn’t communicate to her certain standards of communication. Getting up at 5 o’clock in the morning to do my run and then coming back at 5:45 with two missed messages is probably a bit extreme. And right before bed at 11 o’clock having a phone call is extreme in my opinion I didn’t make that clear to her.
I stuck with my desire to be a cognitive and flexible communicator. But in the end I made myself a slave to my client. I’m an entrepreneur. I have control. And I think I let that get away, or I didn’t communicate that at all.
Second, I wasn’t firm. I have terms of agreement with most clients. Every day, when we were having our conversations, I mentioned to her to sign the contract. Toward the end, she told me she would sign the contract the day of the photo shoot. What I should’ve done was say, “Look, I’m not going to do anything for this account until the contract is signed.”
I undermined my own business tools to appease a client when I should have been absolutely firm. And you know a lot of times people want to give their clients a good experience. They don’t want to be unreasonable. But by the end of the two weeks, I realized I was being a limp noodle.
I had never had a client like her before. Up until that point, everyone was pretty reasonable, and we communicated very well. If there was a problem, we talked it out and addressed it amicably. With this person, I learned to set my boundaries and be firm.
I think a lot of people put the goal at the forefront and sacrifice themselves. But sometimes people don’t understand that your time matters. With each request, I was cutting myself and my dignity slice by slice and bit by bit. And this failure is one of the golden examples of why it’s important to say no. You can be nice about it. You can be firm about it. Or you can be blunt about it. But the no has got to happen.
What is most challenging for you in communication right now?
Despite the fact that I just told that story, it’s still difficult for me to be firm. Saying “No” has become easier, but telling someone that they’re manipulating my time in a firm but clear way is difficult.
In my mind, it puts the client down. I’m a very positive person. I’m the pie-in-the-sky, strawberries-and-unicorns type of person. To me, telling someone they’re being overbearing or telling someone the ground rules is dipping my toe on the dark side.
It’s something I know I should do. And I know that doing these things adds to my credibility as an entrepreneur. So I’m always willing to practice and learn, but it is hard. It can be difficult to be firm with someone especially when you’re 153 centimeters and everyone is just taller than you. But you know the fun part is when you do it successfully, and the person responds accordingly. It’s pretty rewarding.
What communication skill, resource, or advice would you recommend to our readers?
Well of course I’m definitely going to say Sasuga! Communications. I don’t say that lightly. There are so many times when I’m stumped, and I need to know how to get myself out of this situation or how I can wade through the situation. And I go to Helen’s free Facebook group for women. I love reading your weekly blogs and newsletters on Tuesdays. The “Say no” challenge that you did was fantastic. The way you package things and the way that you communicate with the audience is very personable.
Maybe you have ESP, Helen, but you often write about what I need to know. You just have so many resources. I’ll go on Google, and I’ll write “Sasuga communications + how to deal with conflict.” And there it is!
Derek Sivers also gave advice on how to say no. He said, “If it’s not hell yeah, then it’s no.” That really helped a lot. I also read Natalie Sisson’s blog.
What else do you want to tell us about?
Just a bit about TopTia Photography. TopTia Photography is a photographic service primarily based in Tokyo, Japan. I mostly work with other entrepreneurs who are building their brand in their respective markets. I specialize in events. I do portraits for profile photos. I also do food photography, which is for my restaurateurs who are looking to bring in more clients for the upcoming Olympic Games. With Japan just being more and more international, it’s more important that you really bridge that communication gap between customers and businesses and it has just been so fantastic.
I have had amazing clients and mentors. So if there is anything I can do to help you in your entrepreneurial journey or in your corporate world, please do visit my webpage or my Instagram. And let’s chat.