(Just for fun – the photo is with my friend, Sam, about 5 years ago on the stepping stones at a lovely village in Yorkshire where we used to go on family holidays as children.)
The other day, Junko (not her real name) told me on a call that she’d recently been quite depressed. Even though she recognized that she’d made progress in her work, she was scared of taking on anything more challenging and making a mistake.
I’ve known Junko for a while, and I gently pointed out that this was a pattern in her life. She makes some improvements and feels good for a little while, and then starts to worry that she’s not good enough and feels bad again.
Have you experienced something similar?
I certainly have. It’s normal. And it’s okay.
That’s because, as Junko started to realize, even when she slips back a bit, her overall direction is upward.
Overall, it’s growth.
When you look at it that way, you can be kinder to yourself.
But what if you have a voice in your head giving you a hard time and telling you you’re not good enough?
That’s normal too. And it was the same for Junko.
So I suggested giving her “you’re not good enough” voice a name.
She decided on “Semeko-chan” (with “seme” meaning “blame”).
I pointed out that Semeko-chan doesn’t have bad intentions. She wants to protect Junko.
If Junko is doing more challenging work, it’s natural to be out of her comfort zone. And that means Semeko-chan wants to stop Junko and keep her safe.
Then Junko realized how much she’d actually learned from past mistakes.
So now, when Junko hears Semeko-chan’s voice, she can say, “Oh, hello, Semeko-chan. Thank you for your concern. Actually, I’m okay. If I make a mistake in my work, that’s something I can learn from.”
How about you?
Links For You
- discover the real power of your thoughts (both positive and negative)
- find out the surprisingly simple way to make progress
- use the 7 secrets to free yourself from being an overdoer, a perfectionist, or a people-pleaser (or all 3!)