– a conversation with Sarah Furuya (Part 2)
How often do you apologize in your work?
“Sorry I’m late.”
“Sorry my camera isn’t working.”
“I’m sorry for my poor English.”
Have you ever fully considered that when you apologize frequently (habitually), your apology loses its meaning and can in fact hurt you?
Yes, an apology is sometimes appropriate – if you’ve behaved badly.
And a “tactical apology” can be an effective advanced negotiation technique when used correctly.
But in the vast majority of cases, apologies are unnecessary and diminish your credibility and self-worth.
Consider the three examples above.
If you’re frequently saying, “Sorry I’m late,” you’re disrespecting other people’s time.
If the camera isn’t working, just say that. No need to apologize.
And if you’re apologizing for your “poor” English, well… If you hadn’t mentioned it, the person you were speaking with would probably think your English is fine. They’re likely more interested in business matters than in how you feel about your linguistic capability.
In Episode 106 of the Sasuga! Podcast, I talk with the fabulous coach Sarah Furuya about
- Why her apology is “sacred” and what that means
- The strengths of Japanese women – especially in their 50s
- Being wilder, but not quite so reckless
Enjoy!
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Legends Interview Series
February Is The New January