Have you ever been in a meeting where your colleague didn’t seem to be paying attention or contributing fully?
You might feel frustrated.
But you probably don’t know what’s going on in that person’s life that could be distracting them.
One day, I joined a 1:1 coaching call on Zoom and saw my client was on his mobile phone, looking flustered.
He finished his conversation and we were about to start our session, but first I asked, “Is everything okay?”
He told me he’d just heard that his wife had been in a car crash. She was okay, but he was still worried.
I suggested rescheduling, and he gratefully agreed.
Reading this, you may think that’s the obvious thing to do, but it’s amazing how many times people are focused on the meeting agenda and not on the people.
But it’s the people and their engagement levels that lead to the meeting results, right?
So here’s a simple, proven technique that you can use to start team meetings to help everyone focus and make the most of your meetings – less effort, more impact!
3-question checkin
We do this for our Team Sasuga! meetings as well as just before starting workshops and events where I’m one of a team of facilitators, speakers, or organizers.
First, take turns for each person to answer 3 questions:
- In a word, how are you feeling?
- Anything stopping you from focusing on our conversation?
- What do you most want to achieve in this meeting?
Second, respond to any issues or distractions that can be dealt with immediately.
Now, let’s look at the impact of each question.
Question #1
This shows that you care about the people and not just about the task, and can help to boost motivation and engagement.
Answers could be “fine,” “excited,” “tired,” “hungry,” “cold” – anything goes. If the person isn’t feeling good, sometimes just having the opportunity to say so helps them to feel a little better.
And, if you can quickly address an issue, do that. For example, if the person is cold, check with everyone else whether it’s okay to adjust the air conditioning.
Question #2
This makes it easier for people to open up if something is distracting them. For example
- they’ve received a call that their child has a fever and will need to be picked up from school early
- they’ve just come from a difficult conversation with a colleague
- they’re feeling under deadline pressure
Naturally, not everyone will share what they’re facing. But creating the space gives them the opportunity and shows empathy, which helps to build trust and stronger teamwork. They could even come and speak with you privately later.
In some cases, it may be possible for them to deal with what’s on their mind or even postpone the meeting – especially if their input is crucial.
Question #3
You can choose a different question depending on your group (simply search the Internet for “checkin questions” and you’ll find plenty of options).
The example above focuses on achievement because that’s a strong driver for many. But if, for example, you want to encourage more input from everyone, you might say, “What do you most want to contribute to this meeting?”
Or here’s the one that I use with co-facilitators, speakers, and organizers just before events, “What’s your intention for this event?” This really helps everyone to feel good and align on creating the best possible outcome.
When you start using this technique with others, be sure that you go first and keep it concise.
Here are a couple of examples of how people might respond:
Example 1
I’m great.
Nothing stopping me from focusing.
I want us to be clear on the timeline for Project A.
Example 2
Not my best today.
I’m a bit worried about my cat. We had to take her to the vet last night.
I want us to decide which vendor proposal we’re going to accept.
In this example, you might ask if the person is okay to continue with the meeting. Most likely they will, they’ll be grateful that you acknowledged what was going on for them, and they’ll be better able to concentrate on the meeting.
I’ve been using the 3-question checkin for almost 20 years and it’s one of my favorite business techniques because it’s so quick and effective.
Okay, now over to you.
If you want to help you and your colleagues focus and make the most of your time, test out this technique in your next team meeting.
You may also be interested in 25 Questions For More Productive Meetings:
