I’m back in Tokyo after visiting Europe, including a 5-day Paris vacation with my daughter.
In the old days, the overdoing, perfectionist, people pleasing me would work ridiculously hard until the last minute to cram in as much as possible before a vacation.
Then I would be exhausted and often get sick during my trip.
And I would still take my laptop, Blackberry (remember those?), and iPhone because I wanted to stay on top of everything.
Just thinking about that now, I feel queasy!
After experiencing burnout more than once in my corporate days, I invested heavily in my personal and professional development with outstanding coaches around the world.
With their help and through my own research and experimentation, I discovered the concept of “less effort and more impact.”
It WAS actually possible to do brilliant work without sacrificing my physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.
So, before leaving Tokyo this time, I only did the essential work.
I prioritized selfcare, including extra acupuncture to minimize the risk of headaches.
I didn’t take my laptop to Paris. My iPhone came along as my camera rather than a communication device.
The result was that I had great energy and a fabulous time enjoying the city and Disneyland Paris with Keri.
And Team Sasuga! did a wonderful job of taking care of business in my absence. I’m so grateful for their stellar support.
The difference between “doing your best” and “overdelivering”
There’s a great book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Those agreements are
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
I was intrigued by “Always do your best.”
When you first hear that, you might think it requires hard work to do your best. But Don Miguel Ruiz explains that while less than your best is not good, it’s also not good to overdeliver.
He says
“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”
Early in my career, I was taught to “Underpromise and overdeliver.”
I did that a LOT.
While it made my colleagues happy – and in my year-end reviews I “exceeded expectations” – it led to burnout and bad decisions.
Now I would say “Promise a level that’s realistic for you and deliver the best you can at the time.”
Why I disagree with the saying “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today”
Another phrase that had a strong influence on me was “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.”
That led me to cram work and activities into every minute of the day and neglect time to rest.
Now I prefer the idea of “Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.”
This may sound extreme, lazy, or selfish.
But what I realized is that having high expectations of myself and overdoing was actually selfish.
Selfish means to be concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself.
When I was overdoing and overdelivering, that was because I was concerned about what other people would think of me.
I wanted them to have a good impression of me.
So, ultimately, I was concerned about myself.
By overdoing, I was being selfish.
If you’ve been brought up in a society and worked in an environment that tells you hard work is good, it can be difficult to see things differently.
There’s a difference between hard work and brilliant work.
Brilliant work doesn’t have to be hard.
Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone of hard work and high expectations and into doing brilliant work without sacrificing your personal life?
If so, I encourage you to start small. Build evidence for yourself that it’s okay.
What’s one area where you can lower your expectations, be kinder to yourself, and have better energy and focus for your work?
For example:
- Stop working when you’re tired or unwell (it’s not sustainable and you can’t do your best work that way)
- Say “no” to an event if it’s not essential and you don’t have the energy for it
- Delay your email response – especially at the end of the day – to avoid a back-and-forth consuming your time
- Say that you can respond early next week instead of tomorrow
- Question whether you really need to spend time creating an elaborate PowerPoint deck, when a conversation where you’re really listening to the other person might have more impact
- Identify one task to ask for help with from a colleague, friend, or family member
These are just a few ideas for inspiration. I encourage you to experiment and discover what works for you.
If you’d like to listen to me talking about this topic, tune into Episode 48 of the Sasuga! Podcast here.
I’ll be speaking on the topic “Lower Your Expectations To Raise Your Game” as a featured speaker at The FEWture Conference on Friday, June 7!
The FEWture Conference is a biannual event hosted by FEW Japan, a Not-for-Profit Organization whose mission is to create meaningful connections and growth opportunities for English-speaking women in Japan.
Held at the Four Seasons Hotel Tokyo at Otemachi, The FEWture Conference is a full-day event that brings together English-speaking women in Japan of all backgrounds to meet inspiring speakers, immerse themselves in pioneering talks, and join skill-building masterclasses.
If you’re interested, you can find out more about the event here.