Have you ever experienced that when you’re reaching a new level of success or happiness, suddenly things start to go wrong?
You just got a fabulous new job…
You have a fantastic opportunity to speak at a conference…
You’re in a wonderful new relationship…
You’re just feeling more relaxed and positive about your future…
And then any of these things could happen:
You get sick…
Your tech goes haywire…
You get into an argument…
Unexpected things pop up and steal your time…
Or you just feel anxious for no apparent reason…
I’ve experienced this sooooooo many times. One example was my first day at McKinsey. I was thrilled to join such a prestigious company. I was ready to make a GREAT impression. And then in the early afternoon I got a call from daycare that my daughter had a fever and I had to pick her up!
This phenomenon is known by various names.
I first heard of it being called “Upper Limiting” in the amazing book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
Then one of my coaches spoke about “Disintegration Anxiety,” which is when you’re going through some form of personal or professional development and your identity is changing to a happier, more successful version of you. This creates anxiety.
Another of my coaches uses the term “Resistance” for what holds you back when you’re aiming for that next level.
Some people simply call it Self-Sabotage.
Whatever you call it, it’s basically the same thing.
As human beings, our brains are wired for safety and survival.
When we’re about to achieve a new level of success or happiness, that brings a new world of uncertainty or worry about possible loss that the most primitive part of our brain reacts to as potential danger.
Now, don’t ask me how it happens, but somehow that often doesn’t just result in internal feelings of anxiety, but also seems to attract problems around us.
Have you noticed that yourself?
I’m actually writing this now because this is exactly what I’ve been experiencing in the last few days. It’s been CRAZY.
Last week, I was feeling fabulous and so much was going well. Then one thing happened after another including a credit card issue, someone breaking trust, and even my kitten having diarrhea this morning just before a work call!
While these might have sent me spiraling in the past (keeping me out of success and back in my “comfort zone” from my brain’s perspective), I see exactly what’s happening.
Here’s how I’ve been dealing with it.
3 tips to help overcome upper limiting
- Recognize that it’s happening (and maybe have a sense of humor about it)
- Deal with the distractions without dwelling on them (you might call this the “just clean up the poo” step)
- Be grateful for the positives of your new success or happiness (the more you acknowledge them, the more your brain will start to accept them as safe)
So I’m keeping it light with laughter. Cleaning up merrily. And continuing on the up and up.
I hope this gives you some helpful perspective whenever you’re taking your next step in your personal or professional growth.
Wahooooooo! Wednesday
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Missing the Sasuga! Podcast?
You might enjoy Episode 208: New Year – Same Old You?