I attended my first personal development seminar when I was 19 years old.
One thing I learned there was that when we say “I can’t,” we often really mean “I won’t.”
Consider these examples:
“I can’t take a day off.”
“I can’t ask for a promotion.”
“I can’t leave my job.”
“I can’t speak English.”
“I can’t stop checking social media.”
What the person is probably really saying is…
“I won’t take a day off because I’m worried that my colleagues will think I’m lazy.”
“I won’t ask for a promotion because I’m scared that my boss might say, ‘No.’”
“I won’t leave my job because there’s so much uncertainty around doing something new.”
“I won’t speak English because I don’t feel good enough compared with other people.”
“I won’t stop scrolling social media before I go to bed because it’s become a habit and it’s uncomfortable to break it.”
Yes, these things may be scary or difficult, but they’re not impossible.
After I learned that “I can’t” usually means “I won’t,” I started to question myself every time I said, “I can’t” – and that opened up so many new possibilities.
In Episode 143 of the Sasuga! Podcast, you’ll hear
- How Haruko amazed me when she stopped saying “I can’t”
- How one Japanese woman learned that she didn’t have to be a foreigner to be a great meeting facilitator
- The difference between having resources and being resourceful
Enjoy!
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